


Unnecessary Elitism

by merumoth



Category: DARLING In The FRANXX (Anime)
Genre: Gen, Humor, Late Night Writing, Mystery, Not Beta Read
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-23
Updated: 2018-10-23
Packaged: 2019-08-06 05:30:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,641
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16382315
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/merumoth/pseuds/merumoth
Summary: According to the (possibly inaccurate) wiki, the Nines are unbound by any and all restrictions on any plantation. So... theoretically, they can do anything, as long as it doesn't interfere with the functioning of their squad, the society, or APE's values.... There's no explicitly canonical reason why they can't be society's equivalent of a co-ed fraternity.





	Unnecessary Elitism

**Author's Note:**

> there are no other 9's fics pretty much anywhere so I'm just running wild with headcanons tbh.
> 
> also, if you need it, [here](https://i.imgur.com/XkZsZXy.jpg) is a handy dandy image to remind you who is who.

"Gamma--"

"Alpha, I'm innocent. I'm telling you," Gamma pleaded, with that exact same desperate look he has when he's caught nearly eating a burrito with six jalapeño peppers stuffed inside. "I didn't do anything this time!"

Yet, when Alpha glances over to Epsilon, standing tall, passive, and innocently as ever, he finds just a little doubt sneaking into his mind. Epsi has the perfect status as a gentle giant... he would never be suspected.

... but that's exactly what Gamma might be counting on.  
But Gamma also isn't the type to lie, or even bend the truth.  
But Epsilon shows not a single sign of wrongdoing.  
But Gamma might be innocent, this time.  
Epsilon might be innocent, too.

Alpha places his thumb under his chin.  
"Hmm."

The pair of underwear laying on the floor could be anyone's. Zeta doesn't seem like the type to wear stripes. Eta, maybe. Theta would try them on if she found them first. Delta doesn't even like blue. Beta and Gamma wouldn't wear these, unless Alpha isn't aware of something. Epsilon himself seems to be standing quietly with very low-key confusion...

... was it him?

"Epsilon?" Alpha squints. "Do you recognize these?"

The soft chuckle from Epsi's upward direction is even more suspicious. "Sort of. I think I saw Delta holding them earlier."

"... Alright."  
Whatever that means, guess he's going to go talk to Delta.  
"You two aren't off the hook yet. Not until I find out where this came from."

"Phew." Gamma wipes his forehead free of sweat that may or may not have ever been there.

Wrinkling his nose in disgust (and glaring at Gamma) Alpha picks up the pair of underwear by the tag on the inside. Disgusting...

* * *

Delta opens the door quickly and eagerly, but sulks as soon as she sees who it is. "What do you want?"

"Information." Holding up the pair of striped underwear, Alpha stares back, unamused. "Do you recognize these?"

She frowns, squints at him, then at the panties. "They were on the floor of the laundry room earlier. How'd you even get them?"

... Decidedly, Alpha doesn't answer right away. He opens his mouth to mention the circumstances only after trying to discern Delta's possible motives, but-- by then it's too late.

"Alpha? Why did you take someone's panties?! That's nasty!"

"I did nothing of the sort!" The instant annoyance he always jumps to never helps his case. "This was laying on the floor of the common room where I saw Gamma and Epsilon!"

"Epsi's not a creep! It was probably Gamma, then!"

"He's always the guilty one, even when he isn't. Epsilon has the perfect position to escape the blame!"

"And I don't care! Get your own panties out of this twist, and buzz off!"

Delta's door slams shut, and Alpha realizes his face feels warm... Gamma's laughter echoes in his mind, the usual 'Haha, Alpha, you're pouting again!', and he's not even there.

... So:  
First these were on the floor of the laundry room, then somehow relocated to the common room where Epsilon and/or Gamma found them.  
They're blue, striped, and have been worn, judging from the smell of sweat... and another unmentionable and unpleasant smell.

Where's Beta in all of this?

* * *

Beta isn't in his room. Eta answers the door, except Theta is also inside. Maybe it's Theta answering the door? But neither is Zeta, because Alpha knows her eyes never have this hopeful, curious look.

"Where did Beta go?" he asks them. The triplet not at the door stood up, walked right past Alpha through the doorway, and the other one followed, closing the door. Neither looked at him until one noticed he hasn't followed them yet.

Oh. Yes, better follow them. (Unless they're doing that thing where they don't listen quite right and play it off as not understanding the question and/or order.)

Thankfully, Beta's found in the library, browsing between a book on electric power and the three on magmatic energy. (Alpha did not read the former, as the smell was older than the plantation and it was suffocating him to try.)

Alpha quietly holds up the underwear while Beta glances over his shoulder. "Have you seen these before?"

One stunned silence, for an incredibly awkward length of time, passes. Beta looks between the undies and Alpha. And back. And forth. "Uh... why?"

"They were on the floor of the common room. Do you know anything about them?"

Furrowing his eyebrows, Beta squinted at the panties, then back to Alpha (who is just a bit proud of his team picking up his judgemental habits.) "Err... no... why is this important?"

... Alpha does not have an answer to this question.

"Mmmmm... maybe you should put those in the laundry room. I'll forget I ever saw them." Beta smiles, steeped in second-hand awkwardness.

"That's a good plan. Thank you."  
Alpha walks out of there, while one triplet stays with Beta, and the other follows.

* * *

On the way to the laundry room, however, Zeta exits from it just as Alpha and (assumably) Theta turn the corner toward it.

"Oh! Zeta!" Alpha is always relieved to see his own partner after dealing with the other six (yes, six, even if Eta and Theta are at least more well-behaved than their partners.) He's quicker in walking to the laundry room doorway as a result, while Zeta herself looks very intently at the panties.

Which is... awkward, when he realizes that Zeta doesn't know what's going on.

"... Uh, sorry, but have you seen these before?" Alpha's grin is nervous, even when these are the most non-judgemental members of the entire squad.

Zeta points toward the laundry room, so Alpha peeks inside with the underwear still in his hand...  
The laundry has been done. That's nice of her. "Oh. Thanks for taking care of the laundry!"

She just tilts her head in response, glancing at Theta, who shrugs lightly. Alpha remembers the plan to put this in the laundry pile, but... there is no laundry pile now, and the underwear would be plain as day in the baskets without anything else in them...

Alpha looks over as Zeta lifts his wrist, the one with the panties, up to his face-- to which he recoils away from, almost instantly. "Zeta!" he nearly shouts, dropping the panties onto the floor when yanking his hand out of her light grip. "Don't!"

She looks down at the floor. Back up to Alpha. Back to the panties, which she leans down to pick up, re-offering them.

"... Are you trying to imply something?"

Zeta nods, poking his nose and then pointing to the panties... Oh.  
"I suppose." It might help narrow down the possibilities... as much as Alpha did not want to.

A slight sniff doesn't tell him anything. He doesn't exactly smell his squad's underwear to know what they would smell like, so he's not sure what he should be doing this for. Glancing at the other two, Theta gesturing to continue, and Zeta tilting her head, he reluctantly sniffs again, for a longer period of time.

It smells, obviously, like sweat. A slight body odor, from certain unmentionable places. A little laundry detergent, but not the 'cotton fresh' scent they use. Some obvious remnants of toilet visits...

... the laundry detergent isn't cotton fresh?

Once again, Alpha sniffs, closer, in an effort to get to the bottom of the mystery. He doesn't notice when Theta turns her head to the doorway.

"... Alpha."

The voice startles him so much he jolts backwards, losing his balance from the strength of the surprise, and catching himself on the wall. Obviously, the panties are on the floor again. And Alpha's eyes are wide open-- at least until he catches his composure.

"Iota."

"Alpha, why are you sniffing Miku's panties?"

... He's blinking.

"... why are these here?"

Iota shrugs. "I just got here. How should I know?"

She's about to get the most vicious glare from Alpha. "Squad 13 has never been here before! You're the one who lives with them now!"

"But they were also at the Garden when your squad was there for maintenance." She's smiling now, amused, probably because she's never seen him this flustered before.

"How is that related?!"

"Calm down." Iota steps over to pat his shoulder-- completely condescending. "I'll keep a secret, as long as you call me Zero Two, just this once."

This is so stupid. Alpha rolls his eyes and crosses his arms. "Code Ze-ro-tsu."

"Getting there." Iota winks at him. "Try again."

Alpha huffs. "Ze-ro-tsu."

"One more time. Clearer." She holds her hand to her ear, closing her eyes to savor the moment.

"Zero Two."

Iota, being the mischevious parasite she's been since meeting Squad 13, opens her eye, turns her head--  
\-- and bursts out laughing.

Growling, very angrily so, Alpha has absolutely nothing to do to release the frustration. Stomping his foot like a petulant child? No. Grabbing Iota's shoulders and shaking her violently? No. Leaving the situation? Definitely not. He settles for curling his fists, shaking and grinding his teeth, with nothing else to do but say something. "Shut up! Don't take this the wrong way!"

But Iota-- that damn brat-- keeps laughing, picking up the panties and twirling them on her finger. "Ahh, this is hilarious, but... I'll just take these back to Miku. She's been wondering where these went, you know."

Again, she winks, walking away without stopping the twirling motion. Zeta has to curl her arms around Alpha's shoulders before he punches a hole in the wall.

He's still watching her retreating form when Iota turns back to call out. "Thanks for playing along!"

... Did--  
\-- Did she really...

* * *

 

Alpha never does find out where exactly those panties came from, or when, why and how. All he knows is that Iota didn't keep her word and none of his team will ever let him live this down.

**Author's Note:**

> i'd like to thank the 9's discord groupchat for enabling this (please join us)


End file.
